Niki Cheong

Me smoking is not my parents’ fault

Oct 10, 2008 Rantings

Here’s a confession - I have previously experimented with smoking (I don’t smoke anymore, by the way). 

Yes, yes, I know. Filthy habits, blah blah blah.

Funny thing is, I never got busted (or maybe I did, but everyone - mum and dad included - were nice not to take me to task). Funnily enough, the times I did get called upon (moments when I had a pack of ciggarettes in my bag, or a lighter lying around, or when my car smelt of smoke) - they weren’t mine. I was either hanging on to them for a friend, or a heavy smoker had just sat in my car.

So it wasn’t that my parents didn’t care (they were smokers before but quit many, many years ago) - there was just no way they could have found out if I didn’t want them too. They could hardly punish me if they didn’t catch me in the act. After all, I (and honestly too) denied it everytime they found something suspicious.

So I don’t think much of this letter, by Samuel Yesuiah from Seremban, published in the Letters page in today’s NST titled:

TEENAGERS WHO SMOKE: Penalise the parents of the smokers

Samuel was responding to an article in the NST about teens and the smoking syndrome. He (presumably, of course) says that kids as young as 10 years old are smoking. “Female students are also puffing away.” Er, sexist a little bit? Besides (and I am by no way condoning the act of smoking), haven’t women been smoking forever?

I do agree with a few of his points though - that schools should be more stringent in their checks although, he spoke about prefects who do not report those who smoke (er, maybe ‘cos a lot of them smoke too?); that there is a need for more anti-smoking campaigns (although, perhaps not quantity wise, but more of effective campaigns)’ and that the police and enforcement officers should nab students who smoke.

But it stops here. Because he then goes on to suggest that the cops should call the parents and slap them with a heavy fine.

He even suggest that it is baffling that parents are unaware of their children’s habits - or worse, have given up on their children.

How dare he?

I would be extremely offended if someone was to suggest that my parents didn’t care. That I was able to deceive them is not a reflection of their parenting skills. It’s not as if my parents had never warned me about the dangers of smoking, or the consequences (both at being caught by them, and the long-term physical effects it will have on my body).

I experimented with smoking because I didn’t want to be showed up by the other kids. In fact, I was laden with guilt at every puff I took as a teenager - so much so that my first few puffs were fake. I didn’t inhale - until I got busted by my friends, teased tremendously and then decided that “I would show them”. And I did.

I am not saying that parents should not be involved when their child is busted for smoking. It is a bad thing, and every effort must be taken to ensure that kids live as healthy a lifestyle as possible. But to slap them with a fine is, in my opinion, wrong.

The people who should be fined are those caught providing these minors with ciggarettes. Whether it’s storekeepers, older friends or yes, parents too - these are the people who should be held responsible.

I think we all need to give parents the benefit of the doubt that they are doing their best, and that they have their child’s best interest at heart. And that is one thing, with most parents anyway, that you can’t take away from them.

10.51am Malaysian time (+8 GMT)

Tags: kids, parents, smoking